Hi, my name is Jerron Tables. I’m a rogue translator. This blog is dedicated to the re-translation of important documents whose misinterpretations have to this point derailed, and deemed hopeless, the great train of the human race. I have a unique sense and insight into the infinitely fine delicacies of past peoples and their speech. I hardly sleep through the night. My mission is to tell the world.

Don’t understand? Not many people do. It’s okay.

You see, my parents died when I was seven. They were in a Parisian car accident. The sign said arrêt, but they didn’t know what that meant. They didn’t speak French. Since then my life has been dedicated to translation, which is really convenient, because my life was already dedicated to translation.

They were on their way back to the states to make it in time for my early graduation from St. Mary’s Translation School for Boys. They didn’t make it. I was the only kid in a crowd of blue-robed men. I scanned the crowd over and over. I walked the stage, accepting my forty diplomas (all in different languages) and found my teacher, Monsigneur Godot, waiting for me with the news.

I spent the night at the school, rocking back and forth and retranslating the Odyssey.

But enough about that.

Let’s do this. Partner with me. Together we will retranslate our entire existence.


You can read more of my story in these autobiographical posts:

My Story: Parts I and II

More on Me, Jerron Tables (My Story: Part III)

“Manny leave the wagon wheel.”  –Scrantop