RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Please Help

by jerrontables

Mr. Gorvin,

My apologies for the bees. And the poison. Unfortunately, here at Ion, we don’t support bees. Or poison. You’ll have to remove the bees and the poison from your computer before we can service it. Unfortunately, we don’t support fingerprints either. Or dust of any kind. Spittle. I don’t know what you do on your lunch breaks, but we don’t support that, either. Sicko. Air buildup. We don’t support that. Traces of carbon monoxide will have to be removed. Unfortunately we do not support cotton fibers or cleaning fluids/residues of any kind. Also, we don’t support vision. If you could please close your eyes and void your laptop of all these foreign materials, then we can help you service your laptop.

Tell your pappy I said thanks but no thanks. Then tell him to shine on someone else’s lawn. I’m through. It’s over. The moon is a decent man, but when it comes to feelings, to being human, he outright sucks. I didn’t mean to say that about your dad. Maybe we’re just not meant to be, the moon and I.

I love you like a son.

Pork Chop Sandwiches,

Ronny Sporks
Specialist Executive Man
PC Computers
Ion Systems, the makers of Rollo Dog!
9508 E Park St
Texas, TX 76110